Day 28

Why fight something you really want?

A question that was being played over a thousand times in Michelle’s mind.

Carl Bell, or ‘Daddy Bear’ as she affectionately called him, was known for his optimistic outlook and ill-timed sense of humor, but he really had a knack for uncovering things Michelle intended to bury simply by asking unrelated questions…at the right time.

Michelle was in the middle of complaining about having too much time on her hands. Working two and three jobs to make ends meet was her norm, but so was barely getting by.  For the last few years she would plan to take time off work to officially research and launch her consulting business, but something always came up.  Needless to say, it was just a pretty basic pass-the-time-catching-up-with-your-parent type of conversation.

But Michelle couldn’t get Demetrius off the brain.

“Why fight something you really want?”

“I don’t know, Daddy, Meech just came out of nowhere,” she muttered.
“Wait.  I”m sorry, who?” he asked, after a five second pause.

Michelle turned up her face, puzzled by his question. “What do you mean who?” She popped up from the couch and squinted her eyes, crossing out their exchanges on an imaginary white board. Nothing came to mind. AT ALL! She mulled over it so much in that twenty second span that she forgot what they were talking about altogether!

The hairs on her arms stood up immediately as her short term memory kicked in and she realized she may have invited questions she didn’t really want to answer.

Maybe he didn’t hear that.

By now Carl’s quiet, almost inaudible, snicker had turned into a full on cackle. Judging by the time it took for him to inhale, Michelle knew her father was at the beginning stages of his cheeks turning beet red. Her dad always called himself a ‘Seeker of Truth’, but he could never hide his genuine elation when that truth came by accident. Imagine growing up in a house with a man who had a full on belly laugh EV-ER-Y time he discovered a lie. It was a very confusing as a kid. Do you laugh with him or do you run away from him?

Right now Michelle wanted to run away.

“You have someONE on your mind, baby?” he teased. “We were talking about work but you’re talking about a man. Who is Meech?”

Her heart dropped into her belly.  I even said his name?! she screamed in her head.  The last thing she wanted to do was give this old hound dog a scent to follow.  “Nobody,” she rushed out, knowing her effort was about to be in vain.

“Michelle Rae Bell, I know when you’re hiding something. Spill it or I’ll have to get your mother in on this.”

That was a threat that was not to be taken lightly.

Mae Bell is a woman who can find Waldo after three seconds of searching. A woman whose favorite past time was watching old episodes of Columbo and Matlock. She could’ve had a successful career as a detective or prosecutor if she didn’t choose to stay at home to raise her children. She was blessed (or cursed) with a gift of sniffing out a lie before the door was closed and would announce her findings to the entire neighborhood.

Michelle loved her mother, but Mae didn’t play about hidden things. Phantom pains began to shoot down Michelle’s leg as she thought about all the whoopins she received as a kid.

“Dad, pleeeeeeease just keep this between us right now!” she begged.

“Spill it,” he demanded playfully.

Michelle kicked her legs like an only child being told to share her toys. She didn’t want to tell anybody ANYTHING until she KNEW it was something to tell but if she didn’t give him any information she could expect an intense cross examination from the Mama Bear.  Daddy Bear was trustworthy.

She fessed up to how she met Demetrius and the way things developed from there. The more she talked, the more she couldn’t shut up about it.  Maybe she was holding it all in too long.

Michelle told about how they graduated from catching up just at night to talking and video calling throughout the day.  How, after discovering her favorite authors, he would leave notes filled with quotes hidden around her garden for her to find. She admitted to not wanting to like him but not being able to resist his subtle charm, or how his good morning texts made her light up.

Against her will.  Sometimes.

Things got really hectic for him at the police station and she called herself ‘giving him space’ while he sorted through it but hesitantly admitted to him that she missed talking to him for those few days.
Whenever  she felt overwhelmed with everything going on, whenever she would get frustrated with writing out a business plan, she could hear his laugh before he’d tell her to ‘Stop being a baby and do it.’ It annoyed her to listen to him say that almost as much as it annoyed her that his mere breathing on the phone brought her comfort.

“Daddy, right before I met him, I started dreaming again.” she admitted, “I don’t know what all this means,”

“Sounds like you’re in love, Chelle.” he admitted.  “What better thing to do in a world wide pandemic than to fall in love?”

“I really can’t take your jokes right now,” she rolled her eyes.

“What?!  All people have is time now.  Anyone can spend all the money they want on expensive dates and still never really get to know that person.  This man spent all of three dollars on some cards to get your attention and followed it up with a whole bunch of quality time. I wish I would’ve thought of that!”  Michelle couldn’t contain her burst of laughter at his pseudo anger.  “Shoot, I would’ve saved a whole lot of money trying to convince your mother I was a good for her.”

A few moments passed in silence. Michelle feigned a smile as Marcel’s bubbly self strolled by, on another adventure with his dinosaurs in tow. He paused just long enough to wink and tap an imaginary watch on his wrist before walking away.

Maybe the quarantine was getting to him.

While her dad became distracted with yelling for their dogs to stop fighting, Michelle curiously got up to check the time.  She clicked her tongue and shook her head when she understood what Mr. Smarty Pants was getting at.

A few weeks ago, Michelle was video chatting Demetrius while cooking dinner.  He sat at his dining room table as if she was really about to serve him a plate.  Marcel happened to walk by and show Demetrius a dinosaur that he knew and could talk about.  It had become a thing ever since.  Faithfully at 6:30 pm, ‘Mr. Meech’ would call and greet Michelle briefly before he and Marcel continued their conversation from the day before.  Marcel would light up like it was Christmas day.

Though she knew deep down there might be some truth to what her father was saying, she fought it still when it came to Marcel.  She didn’t know what she would do if ‘whatever this was’ didn’t workout.

“Baby listen,” Carl primed her. “He may not have come the way you imagined, he may not even look or talk the way you want him to, but it sure sounds like you two are more involved than you’re willing to admit to yourself. ”

“Daddy Bear…” she sighed.

It was all becoming too much to think about right now.  The whole world was a mess!  People were being hospitalized by the thousands, hundreds losing their lives to this stupid virus from hell, and she’s at home falling in love with a man she met randomly the morning of a blizzard?

How did she deserve that?

As if he could hear her internal conflict, Carl spoke up.  “Michelle, I need you to take some time to really figure out what’s on your heart.  He sounds like a good guy and you’re more than deserving of someone spending time currency on you.  Bring Marcel over for a few weeks so you can at least get a little break and finish your work.  I need the exercise anyway,” he laughed.  “But when the time comes, give him a chance.”

Plans were finalized before Michelle and Carl said their goodbyes.  Like clockwork, Demetrius called and Michelle laughed at the sight of his ‘action figures’ lined up in front of him on the table.

“Hey beautiful,” he beamed.  “You been alright?”

Michelle turned her face to smile, as if he couldn’t already see her blushing.  “Hey.”

“Before I talk business with Lil Man, I need to ask you something.”  Michelle’s eyes grew wide as she leaned on the kitchen counter, trying to anticipate his request.  “I just got approved for my furlough today.”

“That’s great! That means you can finish up your course with no distractions, right?”

“Kind of,” he hesitated.  “I mean, I get six weeks off but…I was wondering if I can spend some of that time with you.  Face to face.”  Michelle’s face went blank before she could fix it but she tried recovering with a nervous laugh.  “We’ll be six feet apart,” he assured her.

Demetrius flashed that signature smile of his and she grinned, shaking her head.  Michelle didn’t feel the jolt down her spine.  It was something different: butterflies in her belly.  Marcel rushed over and made sure his face was seen in the camera.  “I’ll call you later,” she promised.

As she relinquished her phone to her eager little boy, she couldn’t help but mumble…

Social distancing is stupid.