What You Carry
The sound reached her before she saw him.
Elijah’s voice was soft, muffled through the half-closed door, a child’s prayer said with the weight of a grown man’s worry.
“God, can You help us get the money sooner?” he whispered. “So my mom doesn’t have to work so much. And can You give her a good man? One that talks to You like she does? I know that’s what she wants. And…”
Lailah froze in the hallway, the words pressing against her chest until it hurt to breathe. She’d come to kiss him goodbye before heading out for another shift, but now all she could do was stand there.
For a long moment she watched the small shape of him beneath the blanket, his shoulders rising and falling in that slow rhythm of trust only children seemed to have. She turned away quietly, wiping at her eyes before the tears could fall.
By the time she slipped her shoes on, her heart felt heavy. Grateful, but heavy.
Selena honked twice from the driveway.
Lailah grabbed her bag and called softly, “I’ll be home late, baby. Love you.”
There was a sleepy murmur in return.
In the car, Selena glanced over as Lailah buckled her seat belt. “You good?”
Lailah nodded. “Just tired.”
“You’ve been saying that since August,” Selena said. “You sure it’s not something else?”
“Just tired.”
Selena didn’t push, but she reached over and squeezed her hand before turning the radio up. “Well, good news. Tonight’s crowd looks generous. Let’s make some grocery money.”
Lailah managed a small laugh. “You always know how to spin it.”
“Somebody’s got to.”
The drive to the venue was quiet after that. She watched the trees blur by in the fading light and tried not to think about her son’s words. A good man. What did a boy his age know about that?
Still, it stayed with her.
The night air smelled of rain when they stepped out of the car. String lights stretched across the open patio, and laughter drifted through the doors. Inside, the staff rushed to finish the dinner service. The usual hum of noise filled the space, but Lailah couldn’t shake the ache in her chest. She moved through her tasks on instinct, smiling when she needed to, speaking when spoken to.
Julian was there, as always, steady in the middle of it all. He gave his quiet instructions, checked plates, sent servers out with calm efficiency. Once or twice their eyes met across the kitchen, and she thought she saw a question in his. She didn’t have the energy to answer it.
When the last entrée went out, the chaos faded to a lull. There was still cleanup ahead, but for now, most of the crew slipped outside to smoke or scroll through their phones. Lailah stayed behind, wiping her hands on a towel before stepping toward the back of the hall.
The bride and groom were dancing under a canopy of lights, lost in their own world. Lailah watched from a distance, head resting on the wall watching a scene that felt like a movie. The music was slow, something about forever, and for a few seconds she let herself imagine what it would feel like to be wanted like that. Then she caught herself and looked away.
“Pretty sight, isn’t it?”
Julian’s voice came from just behind her. She turned to find him leaning against the wall, sleeves pushed to his elbows, a towel slung over one shoulder.
“It is,” she said quietly. “They look… free.”
He nodded, eyes still on the couple. “Hard to find that these days.”
She smiled faintly. “Maybe it’s not about finding it. Maybe it’s just about not giving up on it.”
He glanced at her then, studying her face for a moment longer than casual conversation required. “You okay tonight? You seem… somewhere else.”
“I’m fine,” she said automatically. Then, softer, “It’s just been a long day.”
He waited, not pressing, just standing there in that quiet way of his that somehow made people talk anyway.
Lailah sighed. “I overheard my son praying earlier. He wants me to be home more. Wants me to find someone good. It’s just a lot sometimes, trying to be everything at once.”
Julian’s expression softened. “Sounds like you’re raising a boy who knows how to care about people.”
“He’s a sweet kid. Too observant for his own good.”
He chuckled. “That’s not the worst problem to have.”
Something about his tone eased her enough to breathe. For the first time that night, she didn’t feel like she had to keep her guard up.
“I didn’t know you had a son,” he said. “How old?”
“Thirteen.”
He nodded. “So you started early.”
She raised a brow. “That supposed to be a polite way of calling me old?”
He laughed under his breath. “I was guessing close to my age, actually. You don’t act like the other women who come through here.”
“And how old is that?”
“Thirty-five.”
Her eyebrows lifted. “I have you by five years.”
“I’m good with that.”
“Nah. I like my men a little older,” she teased.
“Why is that?” he smiled, playing along.
“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I think they’re more mature.”
“I think the best sign of maturity is knowing what you want. Not age.”
She was caught off guard by his comment, flushed even. For a moment she didn’t know where to look, so she focused on the bride’s gown swirling under the lights.
He cleared his throat, gentling the moment. “You should get out more. There are a few good spots around here. Places you’d like.”
“Between two jobs and my son? I don’t think so.”
“Doesn’t have to be tonight.” He straightened, adjusting the towel over his shoulder. “Next time you get a weekend off, you should go into town. I know there’s some good stuff there.”
“What kind of stuff?”
“I don’t know. Clothes. Shoes. Spas,” he said simply. “Something that’s for you, not just for work.”
Lailah shook her head, smiling despite herself. “You trying to tell me my uniform needs help?”
“Not at all.” He met her eyes. “Just think you deserve to have things that fit the woman wearing them.”
She felt the warmth rise to her cheeks before she could stop it. “You’re full of lines tonight.”
“Let’s do it this way then,” he chuckled. “Does your son go to CMC Middle or CMC High?”
Lailah hesitated but answered, “High.”
“Okay, so he’s in there with my nephews.” Julian stepped a little closer so no one could overhear. “What if I grab my nephews and your son and take them to the Winter Fair? That way he can hang out and make friends, and you can have a day to yourself.”
She paused, caught off guard by his thoughtfulness. “I couldn’t ask you to do that.”
“I’m the one who asked you,” he said gently.
She didn’t know what to say after that. For a woman used to carrying everything alone, the offer felt both foreign and kind. Her fingers found the small pendant at her neck, turning it slowly between them as she nodded once, quietly.
Lailah stayed where she was after he walked away, watching the newlyweds twirl under the lights. For the first time all evening, the heaviness in her chest eased. She didn’t know what to make of Julian or his words, but she knew how they made her feel.
Seen.
When the song ended, she turned back toward the kitchen, ready to finish the night. Her feet still ached, her heart still hurt a little, but there was something else there too. A spark she hadn’t felt in a long time.
Maybe hope was stubborn like that. It showed up even when you tried to leave it behind.
Day 28
Crystal Writes 